For some reason, though, it doesn't seem like such a big deal for me. The event itself. Maybe because I forced myself not to think about it too much. Which is a good thing. That way things will just flow as they are and I won't have to deal with my own thoughts getting in the way of the camp's purpose.
There are a few things I vow to do: (and trust me, I am going to do my very best to keep these vows)
- Keep an open mind. Yes, I tend to be closed-minded on certain things. Like activities and sharing and fellowshipping. But that's something I'll have to get over.
- Being emotional only at the right times. So, yeah. I'll admit, that there were a few times in camp when I would only become emotional because everyone else was emotional. This year, I will only be emotional if my heart calls for it. If I feel emotional, then I'll let it out. And for the rest of the things that aren't that necessary, I will be manhid. (I have to learn to be more manhid, especially this upcoming school year! :P)
- Use time wisely. Unlike home, I need to be able to use my time wisely. During siesta time, I will either sleep, read, or study for the final exam on the last day. I can talk to the others during siesta time, of course. But yeah, hopefully, though, more time will be spent for (much-needed) sleep and studying.
- Have fun. I have a tendency to hold back a little whenever it comes to camps. While there are times when I just completely let loose, there are times when I am also too reserved. I keep things to myself and am afraid to let go. Which is funny because in school I'm not like that at all. I guess it's because I always feel like I'm being judged around the people in church, while in school, being crazy isn't new. So yeah, I just need to relax and have fun.
- Do my best. There will be a lot of sudden challenges and tests of faith. And there were moments before when I would just let it go. Like, okay, this isn't graded. This isn't exactly that important. I don't care. And then when I lose and get beaten and fail, I beat myself up. And I lose my confidence. And the pressure rises. And that sucks during camp because that's not what you're supposed to feel.
So yeah. Hopefully I'll keep these vows.
And tomorrow, I swear, I am just going to go with the flow. Whatever happens. I am putting a great trust in the Lord for what will happen in the next few days.
Going to sleep soon!
And I'll be back in around a week.
I'll write while I'm there and then post when I get back. ;)
<3
<3
