I couldn't help but bend down on my knees and give everything to the Lord. Thank You, Lord, so much, for what happened today. It may not have been much, but it was definitely more than I expected. Thank You, for answering my prayer. Please, Lord, just maintain this love and care.
--
I honestly really don't have any other words than of praise. And I don't even know how to put them down here right now. I just feel blessed. I mean, it may not be completely genuine just yet. But I am certain, that He will make this work. :)
and it burns, but it burns out golden.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
show me that good things come to those who wait.
D-group was really fun today. Actually, D-group is always fun. I think we're really taking it more seriously and prioritizing it a whole lot more than last year. Haha.
And it feels good. It feels good to be part of a group of people (close people!) who will listen to you share your concerns, praise items, prayer requests, realizations, kwentos, etc etc.
It's nice to know that these people take the time to listen and just enjoy the fellowship and the company for at least an hour. I love D-group.
And I shared about my whole "what if God suddenly leads me to a path that doesn't include art" realization. Teacher felt the same way. I mean, that's what happened to her. Having shifted so many times and applying for different things, and waiting. Until now, I still don't know how to imagine myself not taking Fine Arts, or not going into anything art-related. I just can't.
But my entire D-group helped me take away the doubts and the worries. There's still a tiny little molecule of doubt somewhere in me that is ready to multiply again any moment. The worries are killer, they are. And teacher made one thing clear, the reason I'm feeling like this only now, is because everything is coming faster and faster and it's s o c l o s e already. That's why all these thoughts and worries are coming. And it's true. It's so close. Arm's length. Or even less.
I'm less worried though. What Mors told me made me feel better, no matter how serious-turned-sabaw her "speech" was, it was very heartfelt. Thank you, Mors.
I need to pray. A lot. I need to do my best in the UPCAT. I need to study. I need to do all that I can for possibilities to be a bit higher, at least.
Sigh.
But yes, Lord, show me that good things come to those who wait. (and thank you David Archuleta, for your song which led me to this realization)
And it feels good. It feels good to be part of a group of people (close people!) who will listen to you share your concerns, praise items, prayer requests, realizations, kwentos, etc etc.
It's nice to know that these people take the time to listen and just enjoy the fellowship and the company for at least an hour. I love D-group.
And I shared about my whole "what if God suddenly leads me to a path that doesn't include art" realization. Teacher felt the same way. I mean, that's what happened to her. Having shifted so many times and applying for different things, and waiting. Until now, I still don't know how to imagine myself not taking Fine Arts, or not going into anything art-related. I just can't.
But my entire D-group helped me take away the doubts and the worries. There's still a tiny little molecule of doubt somewhere in me that is ready to multiply again any moment. The worries are killer, they are. And teacher made one thing clear, the reason I'm feeling like this only now, is because everything is coming faster and faster and it's s o c l o s e already. That's why all these thoughts and worries are coming. And it's true. It's so close. Arm's length. Or even less.
I'm less worried though. What Mors told me made me feel better, no matter how serious-turned-sabaw her "speech" was, it was very heartfelt. Thank you, Mors.
I need to pray. A lot. I need to do my best in the UPCAT. I need to study. I need to do all that I can for possibilities to be a bit higher, at least.
Sigh.
But yes, Lord, show me that good things come to those who wait. (and thank you David Archuleta, for your song which led me to this realization)
Isaiah 40:31,
"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Monday, July 18, 2011
our dreams are made of real things.
I think it's the David Archuleta concert today. (yes, the second time David Archie is here in the Philippines, and I can't go) Sigh.
I've revamped my brain in a way that it doesn't get affected by these things anymore. I told myself I'm too used to it, and I'm going to get too used to it.
You know what suddenly scares me?
Not getting art.
The funny thing about it is, we always think "not my will, but Yours, Lord". But the thing is, I've been studying and learning and practising and dreaming of art ever since. It's like my mission is fulfilling my childhood dream. What if that isn't "God's will"? I mean, all those years of preparing and studying and practising and going back to basics and learning new things--all for nothing?
Could it be?
I mean, a dream that seemed right at my hands. Is it really possible for it to be taken away from me? For some reason, I can't imagine. I can't imagine myself not doing or studying Art. I can't imagine myself doing anything else, really. And that sucks, call it being closed-minded if you want, but I don't know. It just really scares me. The possibility of not going the path that seemed so clear to me. I still want it now. In fact, I want it much more, more than I ever have. And the stronger that desire grows, the more I become scared.
Ahhhhh.
I've revamped my brain in a way that it doesn't get affected by these things anymore. I told myself I'm too used to it, and I'm going to get too used to it.
You know what suddenly scares me?
Not getting art.
The funny thing about it is, we always think "not my will, but Yours, Lord". But the thing is, I've been studying and learning and practising and dreaming of art ever since. It's like my mission is fulfilling my childhood dream. What if that isn't "God's will"? I mean, all those years of preparing and studying and practising and going back to basics and learning new things--all for nothing?
Could it be?
I mean, a dream that seemed right at my hands. Is it really possible for it to be taken away from me? For some reason, I can't imagine. I can't imagine myself not doing or studying Art. I can't imagine myself doing anything else, really. And that sucks, call it being closed-minded if you want, but I don't know. It just really scares me. The possibility of not going the path that seemed so clear to me. I still want it now. In fact, I want it much more, more than I ever have. And the stronger that desire grows, the more I become scared.
Ahhhhh.
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