stars turning high up above.

A few things I have learned these past two days:

• Coffee works. Made me super energetic and super productive. Been working legit nonstop today!!
• Coffee makes you pee a lot, unfortunately.
• Stress is helpful if you want to be thinner.
• Seriously.
• Unfortunately, you'll have to suffer but whatever. YOU GET THINNER js
• Never expect. never ever ever ever ever
• Even if you know you're not going to reach the top, and you're not being pessimistic at all, it's just really impossible, just don't stop trying. 
• Some things are really just impossible.
• And you can't fight that. 
• because that's life.
• Do not get a computer with spaces between the letters in the keyboard. Like, ugh. It is such a chore to clean because all kinds of little dust bunnies get stuck in between and underneath and it is so annoying.
• Keep away from social networking sites when you're working. 
• Because not only does it distract you with what it has, it also makes you think all sorts of things, depending on what you see. Like, if you see a certain status, you might get really frustrated and start to rant. Or if you see a tweet about your friends going over somewhere and having oodles of fun, you might just want to rip your head off. Or shoot yourself. 
• So.
• No social networking sites.
• Play movies or music on your laptop with speakers. It will keep your mind from drifting away into unnecessary things. And it's something to keep you entertained, in the least.
• Never underestimate any kind of project. I swear. It is horrible once you're there and you're wishing you never underestimated it. 

So yeah.


That's all. See ya'll. Still have a chipboard sculpture, a visual diary, and a toothpick sculpture to do! 

picture frames and country roads.

I want to dedicate this post to Kath!! It's her birthday today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KITTYKAT. You're finally sixteen!

-

I honestly didn't think we'd be friends like this. Seriously. When we were in first year, we weren't classmates. And I was sort of really reserved because I was a new student. I knew her as the girl who liked MCR, wore Converse and was good friends with Matthew. Haha. I knew very little about her. Although later on, I noticed she and I actually did have quite a lot in common.

We did connect through our friends. You know how you become friends with your friends' friends because of them? Haha, yeah. Exactly that. A n d  I  c o u l d n ' t  b e  m o r e  g r a t e f u l.

Come second year, we were actually already pretty close. We weren't classmates (again), so she'd often come by to our classroom and greet me. I still remember when she'd come down during lunch time and we'd spin around in the assembly area and get all dizzy and stuff and not give a care in the world about who saw us, including the security cameras.

Third year was o u r  y e a r. First time we were classmates, but daym, it was like we had been classmates and friends for years and years. We had the best time together. I know we brought class to our class. Haha! It was absolutely amazing doing all kinds of crazy stuff, and it was easier and more fun because we were classmates and we got to see each other everyday. It was also easier in terms of academics, because we helped each other out all the time. She was always one of my go-to people when it came to my (endless) questions. And we shared a whoooooole lot of similar issues that year, may it be our own personal issues, or issues with other people, or school, or anything, you know. We just related so much that year and clicked so much that year. Best.

I even remember how we'd always spend our lunch breaks by the window ledge that overlooked the road and all the buildings around our school. Third year was our year.

Fourth year, though. Nothing can ever compare to fourth year. Because yeah, third year was our year, but fourth year had something really different about it. Because everyone knew that this was the last year, the year that will drown us in goodbyes and nostalgia. We spent a whole lot of time together because we knew we wouldn't have much of it come college. Matthew and I would always go to her house and lounge around and watch movies and talk and laugh and just sort of waste away--together. A good sort of wasting away. Haha.

KATH LOOK AT OUR HAIR. BAGAY =))) 

We had a whoooole bunch of shopping trips together in fourth year. Like, I seriously do not remember how many times we have gone together to Forever21. She is one of the only people I can really do this routine with (as well as Karyn).

And we just related about movies, opinions, thoughts, fashion, celebrities, GUYS hahahaha, parents, school, college, e v e r y t h i n g. We shared thoughts and cries and frustrations and happiness and giddiness and rants.

When I look back at it now, I am amazed at how close we've gotten in four years. Especially having known nothing about her in the first year. And I never would have thought we'd be as close as we are now.

She can be my confidence rock sometimes. Especially when I'm feeling like ultimate crap, she always encourages me and helps relate to my situation.

I absolutely love her ugh. I am so grateful to God that I have such an amazing friend like her. She'll be one of those keeper friends, you know. Like, no matter how long you don't talk sometimes because of distance and time constraints, you'll still find a way to be like you've been talking to each other every single day. And I believe that friendship like that is rare, you know. You don't get a lot of people like that in your life. And they're keepers. I've learned, it took quite a number of lessons too, to treat them like priceless gems, because they'll be those little treasures you'll find in life.

Sixteen Sweet years to you, Kittykat! :*

Two of my favorite pictures of us: (it's also funny that our really good ones are always during HSNight hahaha)

HSN 2011.

HSN 2012.

disregard the footsteps and we'll never tell a soul.

Haven't posted in a while. So here's like a quick update of things.

So it may be February 21 but it's still February 14 at our house. Church friends decorated our tree by cutting out hearts from a Red Ribbon cake box. And they got a heart shaped balloon and perched it on top. It's a really cute idea actually. The background story of this was that we started our holiday decorations late. We put up our tree and lights up real late, like a few days before actual Christmas, so we decided to have our decor stay longer. 

Tiramisu cake, Red Ribbon

At least I think this is a Tiramisu cake. My parents' Bible Study group brought this over in celebration of one of their members' birthday. It was really good. <3

Mom's special chocolate cake

No bias, but this is actually one of the only chocolate cakes I really like. Cause for some reason, I actually don't like chocolate cakes. No matter how famous the brand is or how much people say they like it. Anyway, Mom's has this coffee-butter filling inside and double chocolate icing on top. Mmmm

Ninong Ruben's despedida

My Ninong came back from the States. Before he had to leave again, we hosted a despedida for him at our house and also a 'happy birthday' celebration, hence the cake.

Sunken Garden, UP Diliman

We were actually stuck in the mud when I took this picture. We went to the UP fair last Friday, and we accidentally entered through the exit of the fair. It was so so so incredibly muddy, omg. Like that was the number one thing that ruined the entire fair. I tried not to let it get to me though. But I have to admit that it sucked big-time. The mud.

A few other pictures I took at the fair:

L-R: Whang, Me, Tan

Me and Tan!

Abby and I!

Nightynight, world.

and I lost my faith, in my darkest days.

I feel so, so unprepared for the UPCAT.
Not just academically (despite studying a lot for the past few weeks), but also s p i r i t u a l l y. With everything going on in school, miscellaneous things going on with friends and family, and everything going on in preparation for the UPCAT, I haven't been able to "prepare" myself with God either. 
And it's really sad. It's sad to know that I have been so focused on other things before focusing on God first. People always say, "it's my priority..." or "my main goal is..." When in fact, in everything you do, the Lord has to, has to, always be the first thing on any kind of list. 
I've got a number of personal issues that have been getting in the way of my relationship with the Lord. I can say that I've done my devos, and that I've prayed to the Lord, but have I really, really, actually gone before him? In the past few weeks? No. 
It is so disappointing. To think about it now, at this time of the day. To know that there just isn't something right. And I guess that, that is why I'm not secure. That's why I'm not assured that I won't be able to get to UP because I haven't been stable on certain things--on the most important things.
It's a shame, I know. I go before everyone and the Lord as shameful as ever. And I hope and pray that the Lord will grant mercy on me.
I ' m  s o r r y.  I  h a v e n ' t  b e e n  f a i t h f u l.  I  h a v e n ' t  b e e n  h o l y.  I  h a v e n ' t  b e e n  a c t i n g  l i k e  Y o u r  c h i l d  l a t e l y.

In conclusion, I have three days before the UPCAT to get myself right around again. T h r e e  d a y s. I know it's not much, and I probably won't be able to get back up on two feet as stable as before, but I need to do my best in order to be right with the Lord before I take my chance on the UPCAT. I just need to.
It's not for the UPCAT. It's not. It's for the Lord. I feel so so guilty that I haven't been faithful to Him and ohmygosh, it is like the most terrible feeling in the entire world. 
Before I do anything else, I need to go before Him.

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." - Isaiah 30:21

And I will walk in that way every single day.